One of my favourite shows is Gilmour Girls. I've always admired the wittiness and the connection between Lorelai(Mother), and Rory (daughter). One of the characters I really liked was Luke Danes. He was a side character, he owned a diner, and because Loralai's love interest. One of the episodes was titled "Luke's Dark Day" where he disappears for the day. Lorelai, being Lorelai, decides she has to find out what this dark day is. As it turns out, it's the anniversary of his fathers death, and Luke needs time to just be sad and grieve.
Unfortunately for me, August has a few "dark days" August 7, 2004 was by far the worst day of my life. It was the day my brother called sobbing, telling me my dad had died. He had a stroke the week before, and died from complications. He was 49. We went from planning his 50th surprise party, to planning a funeral, just like that. August 7th is my dark day. I have tried these past couple of years to try to shine some light on this day, think of the positive memories that make me smile, or laugh (like the time we were at the border line-up and I wrote help on a piece of paper and held it up to the window and waved at people, causing the border patrol stopping my dad and interrogating us in separate rooms) (or the time we were cooking for my step-mom and he was roasting almonds in the oven and forgot about them causing them to set fire, and he started yelling "Lisa! MY NUTS ARE ON FIRE!!" which caused my to dissolve in a fit of giggles while he was trying to put out his nuts, and laughing). Unfortunately, those memories turn into me missing my dad more than I can bear, and I turn into a grieving puddle of tears. It's hard. It'll be nine years this coming August, and it does NOT get easier with time. I miss my dad. I miss the fact that I can't just call him up for advice. I can't go visit him and watch hockey together and yell at the stupid referees.
August 12th, dark day #2. My dad's birthday. I was one of the very lucky ones who almost had a chance to share a birthday with him. I was born (according to my mom) at 12:05am August 13th. One thing that was great about this was when I was living with my dad and step mom, we got to go out for dinner two nights in a row. On the 12th, my dad would choose the restaurant, and on the 13th, I got to choose. When I turned 18, they took me to the Casino in Hull, Quebec (legal drinking age there is 18) and when I turned 19 we went to a Mexican place where I had my first shot of tequila. I miss celebrating with my dad. I have done that for as long as I can remember. We'd sit in the restaurant and a song would come on the speakers and sure enough, Mike Norris would know the song. He'd sit there with a smirk on his face "Lis, I know you know this." "No dad, I'm not 5000 years old like you. I don't know this song" Afterwards, we'd go to DQ and have blizzards for dessert. The year my dad died, Dairy Queen had their Miracle Treat day on August 12th. You buy a blizzard, and they donated to the Childrens Miracle Network (something my dad always donated to) It was as if it were a sign from dad himself. Ever since then, every miracle treat day, we go to DQ and treat ourselves to a blizzard in memory of my dad. This year, it's August 8th, so if you want to have a blizzard in honour of my dad, I wouldn't object.
August 30th, dark day number 3. My nana's anniversary. How funny (not haha funny) is it that about 3 weeks after my dad died, we lost my nana to breast cancer? I miss my nana very much. She was an elegant lady, very witty and fashionable! Nana loved people watching. We'd go to the mall just to eat in the Bay cafeteria, and then sit on a bench and watch all these people walk by. Nana is the reason for my love of tea. When I was little, I'd spend the weekend with nana and papa. In the summertime, we'd sit out on the sun deck and have a tea party. I had my very own tea set and everything! It was a special bond we had. As I got older, we'd still sit on the sun deck and have tea, and long chats about everything under the sun. On their 50th wedding anniversary, I was living in another part of the country, so my friend and I re-enacted the first time nana and papa met on video and sent it to them. Apparently it was a riot.
I know that these days will always be somewhat dark days. I hope that sometime soon there will be some "light" days in August.
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