Today is my dad’s birthday. He would be 59. As I sit here
sipping coffee, I am forcing myself to think that today is a day of
celebration, NOT sadness, because although he is no longer here on earth, my
father had this “talent” for lack of better word to impact everyone he met. Dad
was the type of man that I could laugh with, go to for advice, or get help with
math and science. He was incredibly patient, and the most sensible person I
have ever known. I sit here chuckling to myself as memories come flooding back
to me and I thought I would share them…
Dad had this love for the outdoors and camping. Fortunately,
he passed that love down to me, and I loved, and still do love camping. One
camping trip in particular I remember was a summer I was about 10 or 11. We had
Grandpa Norris’ green camper van, and we were heading to Washington state to go
camping for a few days before I was to spend a few days with my cousins at
their trailer. We were listening to weird Al Yankovic (don’t judge) and singing
along, when dad got the idea we should make up our own song. We started
creating our own words to “Do Wah Ditty” and changed them to “Oooh What A Dumb
Twitty”. I don’t remember all the words, just one line that said “She was a
gorilla with a purse” I thought it was hysterical.
Dad and I had a special bond where we both had a love of
music. He even tried to teach me how to play the accordion! I say tried because
I wasn’t very good at it. Once I learned how to play the flute, we would have
these “jam” sessions, dad on the accordion, and me on my flute. I shake my head
and smile and feel bad for our poor neighbours. When I was little, dad was part
of a cover band called “Angelheart” I was in LOVE with the band. I loved when
he’d go to band practice, and I got special permission to go down and listen to
them play. I was a real groupie. Sometimes, if I was really quiet and good, I
got to sing with them. Pretty sure I was one of the few 7 year olds that knew
all the words to songs like “Hurt So Good” “Shot Through the Heart” “Little Red
Riding Hood” and “Stray Cat Strut” to name a few. For Christmas one year, dad
had compiled a list of songs they recorded, and made a cd for me. I still have
it to this day, and I still listen to it frequently. One day I hope to pass it
down to my kids so they can hear what Grandpa Mike sounded like.
Another thing dad passed down to me was the love of hockey,
and in particular the Vancouver Canucks.
When I was little, I loved Hockey Night in Canada nights when the
Canucks would play, because it meant we’d go over to the Marsden’s or they’d
come to our house, I got to stay up late and eat chips and drink pop, and watch
hockey. Although I didn’t fully understand what was going on, I loved that I’d
cheer when dad cheered, and yell at the referee when dad would yell. As I got
older and started to understand the game, it became a special quality time with
dad, and he taught me the love of the game and the rules. When I moved to
Ottawa with dad and Mary, we turned our loyalty over to the Ottawa Senators
(with a strong love for the Canucks in our back pockets). Dad and I would sit
in front of the tv and cheer on the team, or blame the refs for the loss. When
playoffs came, and Mary had gone to bed, dad and I would sit with baited breath
and wait for the golden goal, cheering at the top of our lungs, waking Mary and
most likely giving her a heart attack. Even though dad is gone, I still watch
the games with that same baited breath, cheering loudly, and calling the refs
“one eyed son of a monkey’s uncle”
Dad also taught me how to drive. I was so excited when I got
my learners, I begged my dad to take me out, thinking “okay we’ll go to a
parking lot and he’ll teach me how to drive in circles” Oh how wrong I was. He
drove to this one long stretch of road that was 80km/h, pulled over and got
out. “Okay Lisa, drive” I was crying, swerving and freaking out. Dad, in his
calm voice told me to calm down, and look straight ahead. In no time I was
driving! When it was time for me to do my road test, dad picked me up from
school and drove to the course, and made me practice until I had it down pat. I
passed on the first try with flying colours!
Dad was also someone I knew I could go to for advice, and
not be judged. When I was 15, I was bullied. I’m deaf in my left ear, and the
doctor thought it would be a good idea to wear a hearing aid, and talk to a
hearing specialist, IN HIGHSCHOOL. People caught wind of this, and they were
relentless with the bullying. On one of the weekends at my dads, we were
working on putting a roof on the shed, and I opened up to him. I told him that
I hated being bullied and I didn’t know how to deal with it. He told me that
when he was in HS, he was bullied a lot for his size, and he decided to roll
with it, until one of the bullies pushed him so far, he punched the bully in
the face, almost breaking his nose. The bully left him alone after that. Now
dad wasn’t saying I should punch someone in the face, but to let it roll of my
back. If I needed to stand up for myself, he would back me up. I decided to
take his advice and the bullying stopped for the most part. I also “lost” the
hearing aid, so I didn’t have to wear it anymore, and when I moved to a new
school, I made the decision to not let anyone know about my partial deafness. A
lot of people don’t know I’m partially deaf either.
Another time I went to my dad for advice was when I was 19.
I was dating a guy, and his friend was having a party, and invited us to go and
spend the night. I was terrified. I knew what spending the night meant, and wasn’t
sure if I was “ready”. I asked dad what I should do, and instead he told me
what he would do, which was to follow his gut. He asked me how I felt about it,
and I told him I was terrified and not ready. Needless to say, the guy I was
dating dumped me soon after, and I realized that I made the right decision.
All this being said, I miss my dad. I miss singing with him,
playing cribbage with him, watching hockey, or just chatting. I’m sad that my
husband never got to meet him, and that when I have kids, they won’t know who
their grandpa Mike was. I hope my dad is proud of me. I try to be like him, and
when a tough situation arises, I try to think how he would advise me. I also
hope that I can pass things down to my kids that my dad passed down to me. But
I think I’ll leave the accordion playing to him.
Happy Birthday Dad. I miss you and love you.